icfreeman

After Eric's six weeks were up, he practically moved in with me and my sister.  No one at work knew about us, and our relationship became a secret game.  We'd go to work only to talk about "my boyfriend" and "his girlfriend," and we easily came up with the fictional names and back stories of his girlfriend, "Jessica Banks" and my boyfriend "E.J." (Eric Junior).  Eric claimed that Jessica and I went to school, that's how we could personally identify with the others' boyfriend/girlfriend. 

It was comical for me to go to work and hear about what "Jessica" did that day, and how it made him feel.  It was an amazing communication strategy if any thing ever started to irritate us about the other.  It was especially interesting after one incident in the shower.

Eric came home from work one day, and jumped in the shower, as I watched some television.  He shampoos his hair, and wants to wash his body when he looks around and discovers that there's no soap.  

"Honey," he yells, "I can't find the soap." 

That's because there is no soap, I thought.  I was using the body gel that my German friend, Leonie, brought me when she came to stay with my family earlier that year.

"Just use the shower gel," I yelled back.

He finds the blue bottle of shower gel.  While reading the label, he notices "Gel Douche" written on it, and begins to worry.

"Do you mean this blue thing?  It says douche on it."

"Yeah, that's the one.  It's shower gel."

"But it says douche"

"I know.  That's because it came from Germany.  It's shower gel, but it is written in German."

"Yeah, but it a douche."

"No, it's shower gel.  Just try it."

Apprehensively, Eric pours a bit of the gel onto a loofah and begins to scrub his body.

"I'm douching myself," he says, chuckling.

I get off of the couch and walk to the bathroom to stress again that it isn't a douche.

"It's shower gel."

Eric starts singing.  "Douche, I'm douching myself and it feels so nice."

I roll my eyes and walk off.

The next day at work, he jokingly tells his douche story to all of the employees.  His girlfriend, Jessica, left her "German shower gel" for him to use, only it said douche on it, and what was he to think.  Everyone laughed, but I could only stand to the side wishing that I could interject and tell my side, but knowing that I could not.